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- P46: Beyond Pros and Cons: A Better Way to Choose When Everything Feels Urgent
P46: Beyond Pros and Cons: A Better Way to Choose When Everything Feels Urgent
How to find clarity when every option feels complicated.

Welcome to Just One Pivot, your weekly pause to find clarity and consider your next best move. If this was sent to you, subscribe to get your own copy next week.
This happened…
I was somewhere in South Florida, heading to the airport, when my phone buzzed with a call I’ll never forget:
“Sam’s been hit by a car.”
My husband had been cycling near downtown San Diego when a driver struck him. By the time I boarded my plane, he was in the trauma unit with several facial fractures.
What followed was a blur: a missed connection, a reroute through LAX, another missed flight to San Diego, three hours of sleep, and a 5 a.m. train just to make it to the hospital early the next morning. Then came the corridors, the doctors’ updates, and the surreal stillness when life compresses into a single priority.
On that plane and then the train, still jet-lagged from ten days in the UK and five in Florida, and running on adrenaline, I went into autopilot. I cancelled appointments, cleared my calendar, and texted a few clients. But even as I sat beside his hospital bed later that day, part of my brain kept whispering:
Maybe I can still keep some of those commitments. Clear my inbox while I wait. Send this newsletter.
You’d think some decisions are obvious. Yet even in crisis, we wrestle with muscle memory that says go, go, go—and the same old calculus: Who might I disappoint? How can I juggle it all without letting anyone down?
If you’re like many of the people I’ve mentored and coached, you won’t judge that impulse. We’ve all been there, stuck in that loop between responsibility and reality, between holding on and letting go.
That’s when I reached for a process I’ve taught others countless times. One I call The Congruence Decision Filter. And I’d like to share it with you, so when your next decision moment comes, big or small, you’ll have a better way to choose.
The Pivot Point
Most of us were taught to make decisions by listing pros and cons. But that model assumes logic can override emotion, which neuroscience tells us it rarely does.
A better approach is to filter a decision through the lenses that truly shape our lives: our values, our energy, our impact, our finances, and our future peace of mind.
Here’s the filter I use and teach when every option feels complicated:
Values Alignment: Does this decision let me live what I teach?
Energy Profile: Does it give me life or drain it?
Impact Potential: Does it expand my purpose or dilute it?
Financial Fit: Is it sustainable for this season?
Regret Test: Which regret would be heavier to carry?
When I prayerfully ran my week through that filter, the answer was clear. Family first. Everything else can wait.
No spreadsheet could have told me that. But my alignment, energy, and peace of mind could.
The Shift
Here’s what I’ve learned: clarity doesn’t come from weighing every possible outcome. It comes from asking the right kind of questions, because not all decisions are created equal. Some are logistical. Others are identity-shaping.
And when those two collide—when our sense of duty and desire pull in opposite directions—looking for congruence, not merely alignment, is the way to go.
From Direction to Fit: The Ultimate Key to Wise Decisions
Think of alignment like a compass. It points you in the right direction. You know where north is, and you can feel confident about your aim. But that can get tricky, because in my case, the aim was: How can I keep my priorities while not disappointing anyone?
But congruence is different. It’s not just about pointing the way; it’s about the fit. It’s like that childhood shape-sorting toy. You can only drop the pentagon through the pentagon-shaped hole.

When your values, beliefs, and actions match, everything clicks into place. That’s congruence: when what you do finally fits both the moment and who you are.
So whether you’re facing a career pivot, a creative decision, or simply wondering where your attention belongs this week, remember this:
The quality of your decisions rises or falls with the questions you ask—and your willingness to pause long enough to ask them.
The Uncommon Move
Before your next big decision, skip the pros and cons list. Instead, run it through your Decision Filter, and ask yourself:
Does this decision let me live what I teach?
Does it give me life or drain it?
Does it expand my purpose or dilute it?
Is it sustainable for this season?
Which regret would be heavier to carry?
And finally:
Which path feels like peace, not pressure?
By the way…
Sam is recovering well, and so am I.
A key takeaway from all of this is that clarity and congruence require us to move our brains off autopilot, the mode so used to spinning in the proverbial hamster wheel. When I did that, I could finally see clearly.
His accident could have been much worse. I could have come home to plan a funeral or face outcomes too hard to imagine. Instead, we’ve both paused so many things.
And you know what? The people on the other side of the missed appointments, projects, and commitments couldn’t have cared less. They responded with encouragement, concern, and prayers.
How silly that old voice sounds now, the one that insists we can do it all.
If you’ve been wrestling with a decision, slow down and go through The Congruence Decision Filter and share this issue with someone who may need it. And when clarity and peace arrives, I’d love to hear all about it.

Maria
P.S. We’ve entered the fourth quarter, a season for honest review and smart decisions. Need clarity for what’s next? Book your free strategy session now and I’ll help you design a stronger finish and a smarter start.