P40: Ready or Not, Here’s the Truth You Need to Hear

Welcome to Just One Pivot, Sunday’s pause to plan your next best move. If this was sent to you, subscribe to get your own copy next Sunday.

That was the blunt question from one of the toughest mentors I ever had. His name was Mark, and with him, there were no niceties, no protecting feelings, no soft punches. Just truth.

I first met him in the early ’80s at a weekly gathering in a Los Angeles coffee shop. A dozen or so people showed up each week—if they could handle the heat. Those truly ready for change stayed. That’s where I met Sam, my husband, and we were among the ones who stayed.

From the outside, we were a typical LA crowd—aspiring actors, weekend partiers, speed bikers, and driven go-getters. All could act the part: look good, smell good, pretend life was grand.

But Mark had a way of spotting a loose thread in your sweater. He’d tug at it, then pull harder, until before you knew it, you were stripped bare—your masks, pride, and ego in full view for the group to see. And then the group would “share their awareness” about what they saw.

It wasn’t for the faint of heart. You could leave at any time, and many did. But those who stayed were hungry for change and transformation. Some faced secret addictions. Others had to toughen up, stop running from hurt feelings, and start owning their power—choosing to live beyond escapism, self-medicating, and fleeting pleasures.

Mark had a handful of one-liners:

• “You have no power because you keep giving it away. Stop it!”

• “Blaming others just gives you a state of innocence. Take ownership!”

• “Sh*t or get off the pot.”

And here’s what stuck: change only came to those willing to take action.

Most people came once and never returned. Those who endured the excruciating truth circles became our first real community. We camped together, shared homes, celebrated milestones—and, most importantly, refused to settle for staying “sick.”

I myself was the proverbial “Ms. Sunshine,” as my coworkers called me. Yet I was broken and dying inside. I’d let people walk all over me, talk down to me, and I’d either stand there acting tough or go cry in the bathroom.

“Knock that sh*t off!” Mark would slam the table with his fist. “Start slamming doors, Maria… Get tough!”

I started Just One Pivot, 40 installments ago, inspired by hundreds of mentoring conversations I’ve had with my own mentees, though I’ve taken a softer approach. And to this day, I’m still amazed how one action can shift everything in a life.

Yet the default is to retreat to the other three circles in the diagram below: thinking, feeling, speaking… but not doing.

• “I think I should wait to see if …”

• “I don’t feel it’s my job to… ”

• “I’m going to think about it…”

And sadly, all that talking, thinking, feeling are the excuse to keep from DOING what will actually change everything.

What’s Possible When You Get There

The truth is, we don’t change until we’re ready, until we’re truly sick of being sick and tired. Whether you’re there or not, the proof is in the action you take next.

Over the years, I’ve made an offer an aspiring mentee couldn’t sidestep: Do exactly what I tell you for X amount of time, and your life will change. No excuses. No shortcuts.

The few who said yes—through their actions—came out the other side unrecognizable, in the best way. Inner strength. Stronger businesses. Thriving marriages. More peace. More grit.

And the rest? They are still thinking about it. Talking about it. Waiting until they “feel” like it.

Let’s be clear: You don’t need a guru with all the answers—and I’m certainly not one. More often than not, making the most of a trusted mentor or a coach means believing that their advice is grounded in objective evidence, refined by decades of experience.

But the real secret sauce is within you: Humility + radical accountability. Saying yes, and then actually doing what you said you would do.

The Pivot

Stop circling the runway. Stop overthinking. Stop waiting. Start doing.

Pick the ONE thing—one micro-action or habit—you can focus all your energy on this week, the one you’ve bee avoiding, the one that could change everything.

It’s the one Charles Duhigg calls a keystone habit: the one powerful action, the domino that triggers other habits and behaviors.

If you want transformation, make a commitment and take action today. Hit reply and make it official. I’d love to hear what it is and cheer for you.

I can’t wait to get your reply!

P.S. Know someone who need to hear this? Forward it to them.

P.S.S. Want to transform your personal and professional leadership in just a few minutes a day? The reading circle of the newly imagined Bridge Builders is underway. Click image below to catch up with the first five chapters, and embark on a guided journey of inner transformation that will revolutionize your leadership in business and in life.

Here are two ways to connect with me:

👉 On LinkedIn

👉 Book a free strategy consultation if you are ready to transform your organization, your team, or your leadership.