P27: The Confidence Pivot: Why Keeping Promises to Yourself Changes Everything

Welcome to Just One Pivot, where we explore how a shift in perspective can change everything. If someone shared it with you, you can subscribe here.

I’m so thrilled you’re back!

Because I have an important question for you:

Do you ever doubt yourself?

This week, someone emailed me and asked: "Do you ever doubt yourself as a writer?"

It took me back instantly because for a long time my answer would have been a loud, vehement YES.

Even after graduating top of my class in a Master’s in English program.

Even after being selected Managing Editor for a major publication at my alma mater, Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo.

And, even after consistent recognition as an author and ghostwriter.

Still, I often felt like a fraud.

PIVOT POINT

Self-doubt often isn't about lack of talent or potential. It's about broken trust.

THE SHIFT

Looking back, the problem wasn't my ability. The problem was my credibility with myself.

I told myself I wanted to be a writer. I knew it in my bones.

Every time I walked into a bookstore or a library, my whole body lit up with that longing.

But I wasn’t keeping my promises. I wasn’t showing up consistently to write.

I wasn’t building the track record my heart was asking for.

And just like we stop trusting people who break promises over and over, we stop trusting ourselves when we do the same.

No wonder I felt like an impostor. No wonder I doubted whether my dream to be an author and impactful writer could really become a reality.

It’s not opinion. It’s science.

Psychologists call this self-efficacy or the belief that we can trust ourselves to follow through and succeed.

According to research by Dr. Albert Bandura, self-efficacy isn’t built by wishing.

It’s built by "mastery experiences,” the small wins that prove to ourselves we can do what we say we will do.

When we break promises to ourselves, we erode that foundation.

When we keep promises, even small ones, we rebuild it—one action at a time.

PIVOT CHALLENGE

Today, there’s probably something you’re doubting yourself about.

• It might be writing.

• It might be building a debt-free life.

• It might be losing that extra weight once and for all.

• It might be creating a relationship that finally lasts.

Whatever it is, it’s not just about believing harder. It’s about keeping promises.

Daily. Quietly. Faithfully.

The pivot?

Pick one promise today—and keep it.

• Write 100 words, even if they're messy.

• Put $10 toward your debt instead of a cup of coffee, even if it feels small.

• Move your body for 15 minutes, even if you don't feel like it.

• Offer a word of kindness to your beloved, even if you're tired.

Not for anyone else’s approval. Not for instant results. But to start rebuilding the most important trust account you’ll ever have:

The one with yourself.

You don’t have to fix everything today. You just have to keep today's promise. Then do it again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next.

Until next week,

P.S. From keeping my writing promises: Here’s a project and few writing pieces I completed that are gaining traction:

• The Structural Skills Project: A new publishing initiative to help elevate the so called “soft skills” and help organizations future-proof their talent. So far, it includes three articles:

  • Stop Calling Them Soft Skills: A reflection on why Structural Skills are the hard currency in the AI era

  • Strategic Curiosity: The Structural Skill that Shifts Attention (A reflection on the skill that gives us quiet influence)

  • Proactive Foresight: The Skill That Makes You Indispensable (A reflection on an essential skill in an AI world)

P.S.S If you’d like to explore how I can speak to or work with your group send me a note and let’s chat.

For Further Reading:

Interested in the Mastery Experiences research? Check out these articles:

• On Teacher Outcomes

• On Adolescent Outcomes

• On Breaking Smoking Habit Outcomes