P47: The Healing Power of Taking Off the Mask

Welcome to Just One Pivot, your weekly pause to find clarity and consider your next best move. If this was sent to you, subscribe to get your own copy next week.

Dear friend, welcome back!

When was the last time someone you care about trusted you implicitly—enough to take off the mask, open up, and truly listen to what you’ve struggled to get across?

If you’ve experienced that kind of moment, you’ve experienced the healing power of trust—and influence. If you’re still searching for that kind of connection, today’s pivot is for you.

Almost a decade ago, I met Brandon Steppe, founder and executive director of The David’s Harp Foundation, a creative space in downtown San Diego where system-affected youth find belonging and purpose through the power of music… or so they think.

A man who has a knack for changing how you think about leadership, mentorship, and what it means to earn genuine influence, Brandon’s extraordinary warmth, vision, and humility draw you in.

In fact, you can see for yourself—because to make the most of this pivot moment, I invite you to watch his TEDx talk first. I promise: the 15 minutes are worth it.

Come on. Click play. I’ll be right here when you’re done.

💡 The Pivot

If you did watch Brandon’s talk, you already know that his message isn’t just about mentorship. It’s about the power to connect when it matters most.

And more than ever, that’s a difficult task, whether you’re trying to reach your kids, your students, your employees, or the audiences who have the power to open doors for you.

In short, we’re in the middle of a trust crisis. Why?

Our feeds are curated.
Our workplaces reward composure.
Our culture celebrates counterfeit confidence.
And in most spaces, authenticity feels performative.

This constant pressure to appear “fine” is taking a toll on all of us.

Chronic disconnection, from one another and from ourselves, is stripping us of empathy, compassion, and well being because whether we know it or not, we spend a lot of time “faking it till we make it” to cope with the stress of fear.

Fear of rejection, of irrelevance, of appearing weak.

🧠 The Shift

Walking around with a mask comes with a hefty price.

Neuroscience shows that when we stay armored—constantly performing, defending, or pretending—we activate the brain’s amygdala, triggering a chronic, low-grade fight-or-flight response.

That state keeps stress hormones elevated, constantly eroding our emotional health, creativity, and ability to connect with others.

But when we dare to take off the mask—in safe, appropriate spaces—our brain chemistry shifts.

Oxytocin and serotonin increase, restoring empathy, improving decision-making, and rebuilding our capacity to form trusting relationships.

In short: taking off the mask heals.
It heals us.
It heals others.
It heals our relationships and our fractured capacity for genuine connection.

🔦 Flashlight Moments Are the Uncommon Move

Brandon describes the moment he stopped pointing the flashlight at the kids in his studio and instead held it over himself. It was a moment that opened the floodgates of trust that had been shut tight when he kept his mask firmly in place.

This week, I invite you to hold up your own flashlight by asking a few brave questions you might have avoided for some time:

• What mask am I wearing?

• What fear keeps it in place?

• Who is a trusted person I can let see what’s really behind it?

• What might it look like to begin living without a mask?

If you want to avoid this one, know that avoidance comes with a price.

When we refuse to stand under our own flashlight, we default to holding it outward—exposing flaws, offering fixes, assigning blame. All of these behaviors are eroding your ability to build bridges to others.

Living without a mask and standing under our own light takes courage. And the final quarter of the year is the perfect time to take on courageous feats. Taking off the masks we wear isn’t easy.

But it’s absolutely worth it.

If you accept this invitation to take off the mask, you might just discover that the light you’ve been trying to shine on others is the same one that sets you free—and changes everything.

A Gentle Reminder

Living without a mask doesn’t mean disclosing everything. As Brené Brown reminds us, vulnerability is not oversharing

Taking off the mask isn’t about spilling our stories in unsafe spaces. It’s about letting our real selves lead and heal in the right spaces, with the right people, for the right reasons.

Until next week,

P.S. 💛 I’ve had the privilege to serve on the board of The David’s Harp Foundation for almost a decade. I invite you to learn more about their incredible work: davidsharpfoundation.org